What the world needs now

We mourn as one

Paris

Beirut

Over this past weekend, terrorist attack Paris and Beirut. Killing some, injuring many and spreading fear and chaos. Many lives were lost and many more are irrevocably changed by the events. In times like these it is difficult to process this level of violence. The fear that comes along with the attacks, the feeling of vulnerability, the grief. What does one say or do in the face of feeling so powerless?

As people began to change their Facebook pages to the French flag and the hasttag #prayforparis sprung up on social media, I unfortunately witnessed plenty of comments from people referring to these things and meaningless gestures, "slacktivism", and pandering.

We stand as one

That ugliness isn't the part of the story that I want to focus on however. What I choose to see is the level of human decency and compassion in times like this. Every French flag was a person, grieving and mourning the loss of human life. Separated by language, culture, race, a nation, yet we still feel as one. Watching the news and reading the stories about what happened, I cried for my brothers and sisters I never met and will probably never meet.

When events like this happen we are often reminded that it isn't what separates us that is important but what unites us. In the days and weeks to come, there will be plenty of things that will happen. Politicians will use what happened to advance their agendas. We will debate the merits of everything from taking in refugees to how much should we get involved in the war against ISIS and in what way.

But right now in this moment, what is most important is that our thoughts, our prayers, our well wishes and whatever aid we can send, be spent on the victims of the attack. Those who lost their lives and those who lost loved ones. As these respective nations over come the shock and devastation of these events, and eventually begin the slow move toward healing, I would urge us all to keep our minds on what is truly important during this time.

#prayforparis

#prayforbeirut

Free Talk Friday: Just a little something I think you need to see

Can I have you attention please

So I came across something that I really want to share with you. If you are not familiar with who Matthew Inman is or his work (and you really really should be) I'll quickly bring you up to speed. He is an incredibly talented and funny cartoonist that runs a website called The Oatmeal. He creates and hosts his own work there and you should absolutely check him out.

Anyway, he released a new comic this week which contains what I think is an incredibly important message. So in lieu of a typical post I am going to direct you over to comic and hope that you find it every bit as inspirational as I did.

Before you go

Just to keep you guys updated, I have a very good piece coming on Monday and I am in the process of working on 2 email exchange interviews which will be posted in the coming weeks.

So with out further adieu I present to you It's going to be okay. 

The lessons I learned through having a week from hell.

The calm before the storm

Last week right around this time I was in incredibly high spirits. I had just received a phone call from my recruiter stating that they had a client who through thought I would make an excellent fit with their organization and that they wanted me to come in and start the following day. A few hours later, one of those things that I would have sworn never happened to real people happened to me. I received an email from a hiring manager from an organization saying that they came across my resume online an wanted to bring me in for an interview. 

Needless to say I was ecstatic with the turn of events and I thought the rest of my week would be nothing but easy sailing. Little did I know how wrong I was and how chaotic the rest of my week would become.

The storm

So Tuesday rolls around and everything starts off normally. I get up and get dressed in a dashing purple shirt and tie combo, complemented with an argyle sweater, and I'm off to my first day of work. Even the sun was shining as I merged on to the highway, (we were enjoying an unseasonably warm week for November), and that is when everything went off the rails. While enjoying another 'The Right Time with Bomani Jones' podcast (like I listen every morning) I notice that I'm starting to lose power in my car and upon turning down my podcast, the engine is making a funny noise. 

So let me set the scene: I'm 20 miles away from home, going to a new town where I don't know anybody, I don't have access to any of my usual resources and I'm suddenly unsure if I would be able to make it to my job on time, possibly at all or even get off the highway safely. After a quick prayer that resembled something like, "OH MY GOD, PLEASE HELP ME NOT DIE!!!!" I saw that I was less than 1 mile from my exit and was able to safely get off the highway. The downside however was that after making it off the highway my car died. While in traffic. As I was the 1st person at the stop light. Yeah. 

So with some quick thinking I managed to get the car in neutral and with no power steering (muscling a car with now power steering is always super fun) get it off the main road and out of traffic, ish. But now my car won't start, and so naturally I begin the panic.

Me: F***! I'm stuck 20 miles from home!

Inner voice: Don't forget all of your friends live out of state now, as well as your parents so nobody is here to help you! haha haha!

Me: F***! I'm going to be late on my first day of work!

Inner voice: Don't worry! They're probably just going to fire you because you are an unreliable and stupid! haha haha!

Me: F***! I can't even afford to tow this thing back home let alone buy a new car right now! 

Inner voice: And nobody is going to help you. Just look at all these cars driving past! You might as well get comfortable because you live here now! haha haha!

So I call my agent and let them know what was happening, and then I attempt to start my car with the battery pack I keep in the car for this very reason. And as you can probably guess it doesn't work (because why would it do what the hell I bought it to do). All while this is happening cars are just driving past me into the taco bell parking lot, which I am right next to and nobody is stopping to help me. Some people even went so far as to avoid eye contact with me just in case I might ask them for help. Eventually a nice old man stopped by to help me (who also happened to be a veteran, I made sure to thank him for his service to our country) and with his help I was able to get my car started, only to hear the sound that sealed the fate of my car, the knocking sound you hear right before you throw a rod and your engine goes boom.

As the saying goes: when it rain's it pours

Well to make a long story short, (shorter than it could be anyway) I discovered that apparently I had a pretty serious oil leak (as my car did not have any in it at all) despite seeing no evidence of that anywhere. I managed to get my car to the nearest auto parts store and put about $20 worth of oil in my car, which might as well been $20 I poured gas on and lit on fire, sine as I was only able to coax my car a few more blocks to the place that would be its final resting place and it were it summarily died for good.

So just to recap: I'm stranded 25 miles away from home, with a dead car preventing me from working at this new job and unable to even go to my upcoming interview.

All this I recall to my mind, therefore I have hope

So I'm sitting here in my car, stranded, now jobless and prospect-less, when a funny thing happened. In the midsts of everything that was happening and all of my emotional turmoil, I decided to take a moment to meditate and to pray. (Bare with me, this isn't turning into some crazy spiritual thing) 

One of my favorite listens to right now is Jalen Rose and his podcast, and one of the things he always says is, "the mark of a successful individual is how they deal with adversity." In that moment I sure felt like giving up. It seemed that life had turned against me and that everything I had been working towards was taken from me, and it wasn't my fault. 

But as I sat there and meditated and allowed my emotions to calm, I realized that if I quit, my problems weren't going anywhere. But more importantly sometimes in life you have to fight to prove how important something is to you. So I called my interviewer and confirmed our interview time on Thursday, without even knowing how I would get there. It was 60 miles away but I was determined to get there by any means necessary. Next, I was able to reach out to someone to come and pick me up and not only that, they allowed me carte blanche use of their car (things were already turning around once I decided to fight). I cleaned out and left my dead car and went immediately to see my agent where, after talking with them they held the job open for me and I was able to start on Wednesday. 

Thursday came around and I was able to make it to my interview with no problems and the CEO was so impressed with me that while he said that he didn't think I would be a good fit for the position he was interviewing me for, he was going to create a position for me to get me in the door then mentor me so that I could be ready for when the next time a full-time position opened up.

The point of it all

If you stuck with me and made it this far, I actually do have a point for sharing this story, a couple of them actually, things that I learned and relearned though my ordeal.

• Perseverance. It is easy to forget after being on a roll for a while that bad things can happen to anybody for seemingly no reason at all. Often times the only thing that we can do is put our head down and keep pushing through it. As the old saying goes, "The race does not go to the fast or the strong, but to those that endure to the end."

• Family and Friends. Having a reliable circle of people that you can trust sometimes makes all of the difference. From the friend who offered to take the day off of work, drive 75 miles to pick me up and then another 40 to my interview and take me back home again, to my parents who give me whatever support they can, to my sister who is allowing me to use her car. Don't be too prideful and stubborn to use those around you that are willing to help you out.

• Faith. Whether you believe in the universe, fate, a higher power, God, or just yourself, having the belief that while you might not understand right now things will get better, helped me push through. It is so easy to believe when things are going well but the true test is can you believe when things go from bad to worse? Even if the only thing it does is allow you to get up the next day and keep fighting and keep pushing, than it has done its job.

• Life doesn't always have to make sense. As somebody who relies so heavily on logic and reason, when things seemingly don't make sense I often times feel like I am a ship without a rudder. However life often times doesn't make any sense for why things happen the way that they do, or it only makes sense in hindsight. Having the maturity to accept that and not allowing things that you have no control over to dictate your moods and attitudes is a completely different ballgame. However I have found that the peace that comes through surrender is worth the struggle it takes to obtain.

I find that life has a way of forcing us to repeat the lessons it wants us to learn until we have firmly grasped them. This time I think that I will choose to remember them because the car I'm driving right now isn't mine, and if this one has to be totaled in the name of me learning another lesson, there is no place on earth I can hide where my sister won't find me and kill me. Or at least start reading to me from one of her legal reference books, at which point I will wish I was dead.

Until next time,

May we find the inter strength to persevere through the difficult times so that we might grow into the people that we are meant to become... Or may we just get lucky an win the lottery, because I'd rather have $300 million dollars than inner strength. C'mon powerball....

Free Talk Friday's: After the week I had, I need a drink... or 12

I need 10 shots of tequila

If this were a normal week, when you arrived at this page you would be greeted with an email exchange interview I had done with an incredibly engaging guest. We would go back and forth with witty banter that strung together illuminating questions and deep and insightful answers. However this is not a typical week. I believe I can accurately describe my emotional state for a great part of this week in 1 photo.

The week I just endured has been one of the most emotionally draining, mentally taxing, soul depleting and spiritually recharging weeks of my entire life. I have humbled beyond what I thought I could bear only to follow that up with being elevated beyond what I could have possibly conceived for myself at this juncture in my life.

Needless to say that the interview I had planned for this week's Free Talk Friday post did not get completed.

2 fingers of bourbon

As my week progressed and it became more and more apparent that I would not meet my deadline I thought about possible solutions. I could have rushed the article out, I could have done a 2 part interview, posted a day late, not posted at all with no explanation. Each option I thought of was increasing unsatisfactory and seemed to deviate more and more from the spirit of what I am trying to build here. 

Eventually the solution presented itself to me in the form of occam's razor. The solution I choose is to continue my interview, plan for it to be posted next Friday use this Free Talk Friday's post to not only bring you inside of my week but use this as a set up for Monday's post. 

Whiskey, neat

Looking back on this past week there are a lot of lessons that can be learned that I would like to share with you. Thus with Monday's I will be bringing you inside my week from hell in hopes that some of the lessons that I have learned can be a benefit to you without life repeatedly kicking you in balls. 

If I have managed to string together enough sentences in a coherent manner, that I can't wait to see you on Monday. If not, than the past week has driven me into literal insanity and you might as well keep reading because how often do you get to read the ramblings of a crazy person? 

Either way enjoy your weekend and I will see you with an exciting tale on Monday. 

Richard

This just in: Assigning moral characteristics to a business or corporation is incredibly stupid, and we should really stop doing it.

Yeah, I'm going to have to disagree

I am a huge fan of podcasts and typically listen to anywhere from 15-25 shows per week. During this past week I was listening to ‘The righttime with Bomani Jones' and he said something so outrageous that it had to become the topic for this weeks post. On his October 27, 2015 show, Jones was discussing Greg Hardy in the wake of his ‘no comment interview’ and the possibility of the Dallas Cowboys re-signing Hardy to a long-term deal, when he made the following statement:

“…Like I think one thing that’s happened in the course of this, Greg Hardy thing is that, the NFL demonstrated with the way that it handled Ray Rice in the beginning that it generally doesn’t have much of a respect for women. I think they reinforce that in many different ways all the time…”

After I heard that comment and subsequently picked my jaw up off the table, I had to rewind it to make sure I heard him properly. 3 listens later, I knew I had a topic because I thought it was a bit much when I first heard it and listing to it again to transcribe the quote I still think it’s a bit much. 

Now I assure you that I am not here to put on a cape and come to the defense of Greg Hardy. While I do not know him personally, based on what he has done and what he was convicted of doing, I think it is safe to say that he is probably not the best human being in the world. My issue is this narrative that has been created and maintained by ESPN and the larger sports media that the NFL has no respect for women.

So here's the thing

One of the things I personally never understood is why athletes are looked up to as role-models more so than any other celebrities. Here in the United States I get that we deify the uber wealth. However the majority of athletes really aren't that wealthy compared to their actor counter-parts. I mean why is it that whenever we see an actor do something dumb like pick up a DUI or get caught in a scandal, we as a society collectively reach for our pop-corn, eager for the train wreck. Yet when it's an athlete that finds him or herself in trough, we eagerly clamber onto our  soap box with a speech full of condemnation we have prepared for just this moment, as if being able to run fast and jump high makes you a moral authority. 

However, what I find even more disturbing than that is how American society has begun to take the same moral obligations that we once placed upon athletes and now place them upon businesses such as sports teams, college sports programs and even entire sports leagues. This conceit that the National Football League has "no respect for women" is so laughably stupid, it can't even bother to remain consistent. Don't believe me, I'll give you an example.

Let's play a game called which of these players was allowed back in the league. A player that was caught shoplifting, a player that has multiple DUI's, a player that has multiple drug charges, a player that is a known racist, a player that was convicted of animal abuse, a player convicted of child abuse, and a player that killed somebody. If you answered, 'all of the above', you are 100% correct. Yet in the wake of any of these scandals how many times did you hear that the NFL has an agenda against the victims of these crimes?

When Riley Cooper was caught on camera publicly using the n-word, did the NFL show a lack of respect towards Black people by allowing him back into the league? According to pubic opinion, no. When Adrian Peterson, was convicted of child abuse, did the NFL show a lack of respect and a callousness towards the plight of child abuse by allowing him back into the league? According to public opinion, no. When Donte Stallworth killed a man and spent only 24 days in jail, when the NFL allowed him back in the league did they show a callousness and lack of respect towards victims of drunk driving? According to public opinion, no. Yet I'm supposed to buy that by suspending Ray Rice for 2 games in the immediate aftermath of the video coming to light, that they have no respect for all women. Keeping in mind that they have women who work for every team, women who work for the league office and even a woman owner. Sorry, not buying it.

Now look, I'm not trying to make light of the issues of domestic violence (honestly, I really don't want those problems), it is an important issue and the fact that it is in the news so much means that we as a society are taking it more seriously that possibly ever before. However unless we are prepared to say that the NFL doesn't care about every group  of victims that a player has wronged, then personally I cannot buy into the narrative that the NFL has some vendetta against one group in particular.

However, even as I dispel this myth that the NFL doesn't respect women that doesn't really answer the question as to why the general public wants businesses and corporations to be their moral governor in the first place.

These are not the morals you are looking for

In the wake of the Ray Rice incident the country was in a complete frenzy because of what they had seen on the video from inside the elevator. Some groups even went as far as to begin to call for the NFL commissioners job and say that he should either resign or be fired (right, like he was going to quit a 50 million dollar a year job). 

However, the entire conversation surrounding the NFL and their "role" in domestic violence made me incredible uncomfortable. After all, the NFL isn't church or religious organization, they are a sports league. And I don't know about you, but I am really not looking for a bunch of dudes that left college early so they could run headfirst into a bunch of other dudes to set my moral baseline. Yet what I found even more disturbing was when the NFL came out and stated that they wanted to be a leader when it came to such social issues. This from a league that wasn't even a leader and on the forefront when it came to the safety of their players, i.e. something that is actually directly related of their core business model. 

In advance of writing this article, I was talking to my mom and she made a comment to the effect of, "why can't businesses and corporations use their platform to advocate for important moral issues." Lucky for you readers I actually have the answer for you. As a matter of fact, I'm going to hit these two birds with one stone and knock this out along with the people who think that it is the responsibility of these athletes and these leagues to be role-models for their kids. When it comes to these players and these leagues, THEY ARE REALLY JUST IN IT FOR THE MONEY! 

*GASP* 

I know this may come as a shock to you, but businesses exist solely to make money. As much as you might hate to hear it, players in professional sports play the game, primarily to make a lot of money. And what is the one thing that we have seen time and time again since the history of the world when it comes to money? Ethics and morality really don't matter when enough money is involved. 

So with that in mind let's look at the 2014-2015 NFL season, yes the one plagued with all of these domestic violence and child abuse scandals. The league actually had an increase in revenue of 16%, moving revenue up to 12 billion dollars and 1 billion of that being profit. This season, revenue is expected to increase again, up to around 13 billion dollars. Now do you really think the NFL cares about any moral issues more than its 13 billion dollars of revenue? In case you want to be intentionally naive I'll help you out, no it does not, and that's the way it should be. 

Look, we can't expect big business to be societies moral compass no matter how big their platform is, because at the end of the day they will say and or do anything (and yes I do mean anything) in the name of profit. As much as it may hurt to hear, in the face of billions of dollars of revenue and profit a pesky little thing like ethics and morals just doesn't matter. If we aren't going to look to the likes of Apple, Google, Walmart, Amazon, Microsoft, Facebook, and other large corporations to set our values, then we need to stop expect that of sports leagues. Just because we follow sports like a religion in this country, doesn't actually make it a religion.

There's an old saying that goes, "behind every great fortune, lies is a great crime." Now I'm not making any insinuations about how these NFL owners amassed their wealth, but I will say this. You can keep looking at 31 of the wealthiest individuals in this country to be the bedrock of your morals if you want to, but in this moment I would just like to inform you that each one of these individuals owns their own private jet, and the last time I checked jet's don't run on morals and ethics. So if they have to choose between their jet and your moral cause, I'm pretty sure they are going to choose the jet. I know I would.

Until next time,

May you too become so wealthy that you can afford to sell your morals and buy a private jet. Even if you don't get jet money, you should still totally list them on Ebay. I think know of at least 31 individuals what might be in the market for some morals.